ROBOTIC PENGUINS, and other cute and frightening technology that will probably steal your girlfriend.
These penguins are more capable of functioning in this modern world than I am. And what? 3-D sonar, precision grabbing, and swimming in reverse? Time to invest in a tuxedo and some glowing eye implants, so we can more easily assimilate when these bionic bastards rise up.
If that doesn’t get your bedsheets damp, the same ominous corporation offers Aqua Jellies, which look just like Nadja, the filterless-Pall-Mall-smoking lancer of my virginity.
[Thanks, Sean C.]
