This glistering OLD SPICE COMMERCIAL is possibly the greatest thing to flicker across my retinas in several moons. If all ads possessed this creative life force, television would replace religion. Oh wait, it already has.
[Thanks for the link, Daniel Wood. Your artistic eye is as penetrating as a whirring diamond drill bit.]
The SHAKE WEIGHT is “designed specifically for women” and OH MY GOD HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN THIS BEFORE? When this commercial interrupted the regularly scheduled program on our television last night, I was calmly grabbing a Tab from the fridge. Then Ainsley shouted, “Simon! Simon! Simon! Get in here and see this!” So I got in there. And saw this.
I want to go back in time and send one of these to every woman I’ve ever crushed on, and then I want to perch outside their windows with a set of one-handed binoculars and my mouth twisted into a disquieting sneer.
Let’s all go exercise and get jacked.
“CAUTION: This product is AWESOME.”
Hey, 10-year-old boys, who needs a real motorcycle when you can make your 20-inch BMX sound like a cheap motorcycle facsimile? With the TURBOSPOKE BICYCLE EXHAUST SYSTEM, the world is at your tire nubs. It won’t actually make you go any faster, but don’t tell the 6th-grade girl waiting for you outside your Scout meeting.
HERE WE GO, SAN FRANCISCO is @davegorum’s face-scraping punkrock montage of the recent SF tweetup. Makes me wish I had been there, even though I’m not very fond of white people or the Internet.
